| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2005|01:24 pm] |
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2005|09:02 pm] |
So, I hate a lot lately. I hate a lot aspects of life I guess is a better way of putting it. Its not so much people, its things that led to people being stupid. Its not so much things that led to people being stupid, its my choices that led to people being sutpid. Just do us both a favor, and not care, and not read on...I dont care if you do I guess....if I did it wouldnt be up here. But you really dont need to pay any attention or listen to my bitching. So Im just warning you of whats to come here...Well...the last, maybe 5 months, have been uncomfortably weird. Ive led people on, when I hate people who lead people on. I got to a point where I didnt know anything about anyone, and didnt think. Dont do it. Your stupid if you do.... Then Ive started to care about someonevery much, who I didnt want to at first. I was afriad to, still am I guess...but basically I got attached, when after all my past relationships I didnt want to get attached to anyone ever again. I dont regret it, but Im almost positive its going to hurt me...itll be my fault though. its one of those bittersweet things i suppose...oh, and i cant even spit out the words to the person.Im that much of a pansy. I cant say how i feel. i suck. Anyway, then Ive let people who have hurt me back into my life, and put them in places where they can do harm...again. Ive sunken so far under work and school, and my parents "rules" that I dont see people or talk to them anymore. My friends have forgotten me. And its not them being an asshole saying that. Its not theyre fault. And that kills me. Its the truth. Its whats happened, and I know nothing was meant by it, other than they wanna see whast going on with me. But it still hurts like hell. 12 years and in less than 3 years we`ve gotten into a rut where we havent talked in so long that one of us momentarily forgets about the other one? Probably the biggest thing on my mind. Probably the one that hurts the most. And seriously, not your fault. At all, you didnt mean for it to hurt. I know. I just love you guys so much is all, and thats whats causing the..hurt? Yeah. Oook, so. Ive decided I hate peoples friend choices. I really have come to dislike many people I thought I liked. Sounds mean but whatever. Ive gotten picky on who I like, and who I want to hang out with. And it sucks cause the people I will wanna chill with, will be with people I dont wanna chill with, so I get stuck with the suckas anyway. Thats mean. But again I dont care so much. Its true. At least Im not afraid to say it. So. Those are the main points. I think. Well that I dont mind adressing in a journal that anyone can access. So, i _ you. I miss you and... i hate you? The categories of people for 3 topics? Those 3 werent meant for all the same people, like, i dont ___, love and hate all one person...well i probably do but its not what i mean...ah ok, ramble much?
k im done |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|10:30 pm] |
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I pretty much loath everything right now. myself included. fuckin world. so stupid |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|10:15 pm] |
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Im sorry for some of my latest entries. Ive just been very angry lately. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2005|04:08 pm] |
lets all hide behind the computer shall we?
great.
and for everyone an anouncement, lets not take everything so personally. a wrong choice of words such as friends instead of people can cause a lot of trouble that is pointless because nothing was meant by it to those friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2005|12:30 pm] |
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Yeahhhh job at steak and shake |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|07:55 pm] |
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So Im not gonna start of boring like the last one, cause a lot of people read it all anyway. Well, Im pretty much frustrated with everyone but peopole in the city, and as usual Jessi. Because you see, its been a trend for absolutely everyone to blow me off lately. Then try to make up excuses for it. Its one of my biggest "pet peeves", other than the phrase pet peeves. I hatehatehate it. And its not just one or two people it seems to be everyone. I cant stand it, its annoying as hell. Ah. Ok, enough about that. Sorry. So I went to the Paul McCartney concert last night, but I was kinda sick so I was being lame and not standing the entire time. I stood throught the upbeat ones though so its al good. I stayed home today cause like I said Im sick, my throat just feels like Ive swallowed 18 razors and are coughing them up. And Im really achey. Anyone wanna give me a massage? Eh eh? Im annoyed with just about everything in life at the moment. Not in an emo bitch way, just, I wish I knew the answers to things, and what I should do about shit. And I really wish people would stop being retarded. It would be lovely. Ive noticed there are a lot of somewhat conceited people that I`m friends with. Not in just jokingly ways like saying, oh man we`re so hot, or anything like that, thats fine its not that bad. But in other cases...like in hanging out with people...and the way most people only care about things that involve them greatly. Im used to it being, if you have a friend, whatever theyre going through your helping them through it. Not oh, its not that big of a deal, so lets talk about my blah bla blah. But whatever, at last there are still a few peopole not like that. Im tired of typing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|10:55 pm] |
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Alright, so I figured its been a long time since Ive actually wrote shit in here. Ive been kinda anti-post your feelings online lately, but whatever, I just don’t care about much anymore. Im at this point where Im sort of numb to things. Indifferent. Which I wanted for so long. But I thought it would be different than this. Ive cried while being indifferent. Its like the emotional reactions still occur without the feelings that go along with them. Or when they do your almost thrown into them. No time to think just react. Which I suppose is good. Because it will “prepare me for the real world”. Too bad Ive experienced the world quite a bit. Not all of it, but too much for my age maybe. And not all through my experiences, a lot through friends experiences that become mine. But its all the same. Things happen, and Im not going to dwell on them, just sort of keep them in the back of my mind for future reference you know? Maybe they’ll protect me from something eventually. Maybe not. Who knows. Im sure a lot of you have stopped already. And that’s fine because I was being boring as fuck. Purposely, always purposely, just remember that. So, people are fucking ridiculous anymore. Seriously. I cant handle it. Well, of course I can because I have before. Ah, Im just exhausted of it. Ive narrowed it down to like 2 people in the Naperville area that I really try to help and be there for. Which sounds terrible I know. And they probably know who they are, but they might not. Oh well, not going to worry about it. I just really think theyre the only ones who need me right now. They have plenty of friends. And one or 2 missing from them from drama probably caused by them, is not worth my effort. Of course theres still the girls in the city. They’ll always be a concern of mine. City means the original city girls, not just the ones remaining so don’t get all offended cause you live in a suburb like me now too. Then theres at least one in another suburb that I worry about sometimes/ care about. Which terrified me and I tend to try to run from it, but then when I stop running they run from it…….ah. Im going to stop there. Sorry. So. Back to people being retarded….I think id ridiculous that there are situations that happen all the time, where someone is a complete douche bag and ends up making the person theyre fucking over feel like they’ve done something wrong. It happened to me not too long ago and its happening to someone I know now. Its retarded. And its difficult because now, it seems so easy to get out of, but when your experiencing it, it feels impossible. Ah, whatever Ill continue hating everyone. And my parents, man. Gotta love them. The people who are supposed to be stable in your life and all that shit…..HA. Right, ok, not with whats been going on lately. Im not gonna get into that though. If you must know you can ask, but Im not turning into one of those omg my dads such an ass omg. Im so sad. Because Im not. Im disappointed and hurt maybe. But fuck being sad. I hate it. And im so excited that ive learned how to not be. But anyway, im about to get kicked off line because of the programs my lovely father has set on this computer that monitors ever move I make So, this is to be continued. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|08:13 pm] |
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So Im tired of being disspointed in people. i cant help it though. it sucks |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|06:18 pm] |
Someone Ive known for 4 years, seen every 2 weeks to every month passed away August 19th and I just found out tonight. She was only around 27. Im going to miss her very much...and I just dont know what to think really. It was so shocking.Pretty much tops off my week.
Sandra,August 19th 2005, heart failure. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|09:39 pm] |
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I neeed this job. Dammit I better get it.
Jackies Tip 
Me and Lauren are pretty much the best.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|09:24 pm] |
Ok. So. What I dont understand is how a person can say someone complains about everything...and then they go ahead and complain about one thing 8000 times a day in front of people they fucking injured. Now. Im not holding anything against anyone because that will just cause drama and dramas for fucking retards. But...i think its highly rude and selfish to keep mentioning your loss when someone had to wear a fucking neckbrace for a couple days. And to act like the person who got hurt in the process of theyre loss, is fucking exadurating? HA. Let me stab you in the neck repeatedly and then put a metal pole down your spine so you cant move your neck, then you can tell me how it feels. K? Then tell me how much I exadurated. K? Shit. Im so annoyed by this, and I was completely willing to drop this...but it just keeos going and going and going. Im not usuing this as a confrontation about it Im just annoyed and venting. If it got to the point that I thought it needed adressing then Id do it face to face. But it hasnt....yet, so quiet Ill be. But seriously one more time I hear......ugh. Ok anywayyyyy
I chilled with Lauren and Griff tonight. Had to be the highlight of my weekend. Cause basically Laurens cooler than most people. Nuff said. Jealous? Of course you are.
So Ima dye my hair soon. Pink highlighs. Hell yeah nigga.
Im gonna pierce under my tounge tonight I think. We`ll see.
Well, nuff bitching for one night. I got it all outttt. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|07:21 pm] |
Mmmmk.
Well right now I dont like many girls...theyre annoying and catty and retarded mostly. There are some im down with though. A select few/some.
My neck feels somewhat better. I can move it, its just stiff, no more jabbing pain though. Although you know, thats imaginary pain that Im just overexadurating...cause thats a liot of fun. Im telling you once I heard that sexy neck brace would be included in having whiplash, I was sold. And that doctor, totally payed him off into saying I have whiplash. Cause it was that important to me. Totally.
Anyway, I went to borders today and got the monkey buisness, black eyed peas cd. So basically I rule.
I really wanna go to the city next saturday for nancys thing. I should be able to...
ok. nuff said |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|10:21 pm] |
Sup whiplash
whiplash that I wouldnt admit I had... until I could barely move my neck. Ha. Oh well. Shit happens. Just dont ever reach down for something at your feet right before an accident. It doesnt give good results. Um, so I get to stay in all night cause most people dont like going out while feeling like shit. Crazy notion right? Im not mad. I shouldnt be. Thats why theyre called accidents. I just cant help but being crabby and annoyed about the circumstances. But like I said shit happens. Ive been told I complain a lot lately. Which I find funny, seeing as though the things I "complain" about are legitimate. Im sorry this summer and end of last year`s school year has been tough on myself and people that are close to me. Things have been hard on everyone. So sitting there saying Im complaining to much isnt fair when you do the same. I could just repeat the same drama over and over again which many people do, but instead I bitch about things that are unnessesary. Think of things Ive complained about. Theres always something behind it. Name sometihng and Ill back it.
Im sorry. Im probably out of line here. Im just...dissapointed and frustrated with things right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|08:50 pm] |
So... Im actually pretty tired of everyones bland sarcasm. Like...I dont know, people are just boring now. The only person who really keeps my attention with theyre sarcasim is a Ms. Elisabeth Robles. Cause we`re fun with it. Im not trying to sound pretencious or anything like that. Im not saying Im some sort of sarcasim masta or anything. I just think people need to stop using the same words over and over and over.
And I also have something to say about all these sad girl lj and xanga entries. You dont want to be called emo right? Then stop writting mother fucking emo/every aspect of my life is teribble entries. Seriously. Stop. And the ones where you run around all the important aspects so that it comes out just censored enough or just enough that it points out the bad things that happened in a day. I you had a shitty day and started out saying it like that then fine. List away. Dont do the someone was being realy tetrrible to me today and it just blends in with my life because i want to die, shit. Sorry. Im just so sick of it. For some reason the only person I can stand bitching is Elyse. And its not even bitching. Its understandable. Everyone else just seems like a fuckin pansy. Oh no wait Miss Jessi too. Im alright with her shiz too. But I think its cause its not repetative shit. And I included in this. I bitch about the same things a lot..and ive been cutting down on it cause it gets annoying. Sorry if I offended you. But lemme tell you being apathetic comes in handy sometimes.
So Ill start out by saying some shitty things happened this week. Some not so shitty things happened this week. I will use names and I will not cut my bitching to be convenient for me.
School started. Its aight. Ive got someone I know in every class but math. Go figure. But for the most part ok. I saw some cool kids that I havent seen in a while.
I went to the Cubs game Sunday which was a pretty frustrating day. Brent called me late cause he didnt remeber the time I had told him the night before for the game, so I was running around trying to find someone to go. Percy ended up being able to get a ride but I still had an extra ticket. Called like 3 or 4 more people, couldnt come. It was Percys first game so I made him do all the shit like keep score take a picture in front of the board...shit like that. So after the game I wanted to get him an autograph...but he got pushed aside cause people suck and I just eneded up getting Nomar Garciaparas autograph. Im not gonna get into detail with this cause its not something Id like to post on the internet in detail, but if you ask me I wont just respon with "oh nothing". Basically there was an asshole in the crowd and I ended up with bruises. On my ass. haha that just sounds funny. But annnywaays, after the game we went by ma`s and I chilled with Lisa. It was cool, Im not gonna lie I was dissapointed that Brent couldnt come, and I didnt like the whole thing after the game but the day wasnt dreadful.
i have to go though because my mother is fucking insane |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2005|03:24 pm] |
Ok, so Im leaving in like an hour or 2 but I had to re-cap my day, cause it sounds funny
Woke up
Took Janey to my grandmas in the city
Wnet to Auntie Anns and got a pretzel
Got home
Emily came over
We went and took care of Laurens dogs
Then went to the us cellular store
then went to steak and shake
now im going to london
make sense? no. but its bliss let me tell you.
Ill miss you all, thanks for your comments loves :)
love you
nyssa |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|09:45 pm] |
Im going to England. Ill check this one more time before I leave
Bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2005|07:16 pm] |
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Ok...so...Ive come to the conclusion my life makes no sense. Like at all</p>
Everything that happens contradict everything that happens the day before or after
But Im not complaining about this. At times it sucks yeah...but really all Im trying to state is the incomprehendable events that like to make up my existance.
Im bored as fuck
Um.
( Ok this is what I miss... ) |
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